Time to Keep it Simple!

"Living in a way that is outwardly simple and inwardly rich." - Duane Elgin

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." - Henry David Thoreau

I read an article posted at Newsweek yesterday with great interest: "Those entering the workforce now will likely make less and save more—not just in the short term but for the rest of their lives."  I've been seeing this more and more: People are putting more importance on quality experiences, and less importance on things.

This is something that I've taught my clients for a long time, and something that my wife and I put into practice ourselves, years ago.  I've been a Realtor for almost 15 years now.  My wife was a criminal prosecutor (yep, just like on Law & Order), and a very good one.  She loved her job.  However, when our son was about 2 years old, we both realized that one of us needed to stay home with him.  And she wanted to be the one to do it.

Danielle felt that she could be a really great prosecutor, or a really great mom, but that she couldn't do both.  She felt that inevitability, our son would suffer if both parents worked.  And I agreed.  And I told her that I would be more than happy to be the one to stay home... that it was totally her choice.

Well, this isn't meant to be a lecture about the pros and cons of both parents working.  What I want to say is this: We were both making good money.  Over and beyond the parental issues, we had a choice to make, and that was, in essence: Is it better to have things (two cars, total security, a huge house, lots of money, etc.), OR, to be able to live the kind of life that we felt was important?  In other words, what was more important to us: Our life experience, or money?

If you're rich, you don't have to make choices like this.  But most of us aren't.

Well, she quit her job, and has loved being a stay-at-home mom ever since.  Is it always easy?  Absolutely not.  I'm not ashamed to say that we have only one car, and that we don't have gobs of money; but I'm very proud to say that we spend lots of time with our son, and that he's told us many times over the years how much he loves having a mom that stays home with him, how much he loves having parents who have the freedom to volunteer at his school, and so much more.

It all boils down to this: If you have less money these days, don't look at it like you've lost something; instead, figure out what you've gained.  If you have no debt, it's really surprising how little a family can live on.  When you buy your home, don't buy the most expensive home you can get approved for.  Don't buy anything if you have to put it on a credit card.

Please don't misunderstand me... I'm not saying having money is a bad thing.  Money equals security, not to mention little things like food on the table.  But our culture is starting to learn what some of us have known for years: If you have to sell your soul to get that money, it's just not worth it.

I listen to people complain about their bills, that they're over-worked, have no free time, and that their kids hate them... and I see them parking their second car in the garage, buying a Wii and a ton of games for it, and a big-screen TV with a huge cable or satellite dish bill.  In the meantime, they take their kids to school early, then work so late that they have to pick them up at daycare an hour before bedtime.

There's so much that you can do that costs little or next to nothing: Hulu.com has free TV programs; you can watch any DVD with no late fees with Netflix; you can check out books for free at the library, or take your kids to the Science Center, or, hey, a neighborhood park!  It just takes a little imagination.

I'm not saying it's easy.  But you can do it.  There are plenty of forums on the web that focus on having a simple life, and some really good books (re-read Walden!) on the subject.  Decide now that your focus from now on is on having a quality life... not a quantity of things.

Further reading:

Turn Off the TV! - the Mom Blog Network

Voluntary Simplicity

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